Friday, January 06, 2006

Mission #136: AA Meeting

As I sat around the the Avenger's headquarters, flipping through magazines, Carol entered and sat near me. Then Tony arrived and looked me over. "We need a ride."

"Where?" I asked, not looking up.

"Our AA meeting." Carol huffed.


"Well... We wanted you to drive us so we wouldn't draw any attention." Carol begged.

"Tony has a driver."

"He's on vaction." Tony said.

"Fine." I said, raising myself off the couch.

Soon we arrived at their AA meeting. I was aghast, seeing all the beer bellied men. Several tried to hit on me, so I merely insisted that I was unavailable. Thank God the meeting started soon.

I yawned as I heard speech after speech about the alchoholics drinking habits. Soon it was Carol's turn.

"Hi. My name is Carol." she began.

"Hi Carol." the room chanted monotonously.

"Its been three weeks since I last had a drink." The room clapped. "Its been rough. After numerous... uh... arguements, I just want to have a drink to unwind. Ever since that little bitch Rogue stole-" she stopped herself, seeing she had gripped so hard into the podium, it was starting to break. Carol saw the other AA members staring at her.

"Stole what?" the director of the program asked.

"My, uh... lover!" Thank goodness for Carol's quick wit.

"Very good." the director said. "Mr. Stark?"

"Hello everyone! My name is Tony."

"Hi Tony." the group chanted once more.

"Its beena month since my last drink." Applause. "And I feel great! My womanizing is up 110%." After the comment was made, there was a long awkward silence. Tony coughed and sat.

"And now our newest member. Miss...?"

It took me awhile before I realized the director was talking about me. "Sorry." I said, with a shrug. "I don't drink."

"Oh my God. You're in denial."

"Nope. I do enjoy the occasional red wine from time to time, but other than that, nothing."

"Its worse than I thought. I bet you're drunk now!" The director stood and tried to hold me down. He himself smelled heavily of vodka. I almost choked from the smell.

"Get off!" I yelped. I was getting annoyed with the whole thing. The director leered at me. I couldn't move my arms. "Carol!" I called.

Both Carol and Tony took care of that lecher. When they were finished, and the room was cleared as the director was huddled in the fetal position, I altered his reality, changing the loser into a crate, which Carol smashed for me.

We arrived home and me and Carol sat on the counters. Carol drinking champagne and I eating icecream. We didn't talk about the AA meeting, but I could sense she wasn't going back. I decided to personally limit her drinking. And that was the end of that.


At 7:49 PM, Blogger Jean Grey-Summers said...

Yaay for AA Meetings.

I did not know you could turn others into crates though. Remind me to not anger you.

At 8:17 PM, Blogger Wanda Maximoff said...

I can do much more than that Jean.

At 8:49 PM, Blogger Gaia said...

Do you use your powers to get rid of the calories from all the ice-cream? I do.

At 1:04 AM, Blogger Selene said...

Hmm, I see we have another sorceress in our midst. Their life force has always been like drinking golden nectar!! Mwhahahaha!!!! Hmmmm.....I hope I didn't just type that outloud...

At 6:50 AM, Blogger Jean Grey-Summers said...

Selene, come near Wanda and you will not get Rachel.

I will sell her to Sinister.

He's been hunting for some Grey-Summers DNA for quite some time now.

At 6:56 AM, Blogger Professor Xavier said...

I remember when Scott tried to host an intervention for me. He was blathering on about all the congnac I drink. So what? I like to have a bottle or two of cognac once in a while. I'm under a lot of pressure over here what with all the psychos always trying to kill us. Alcohol is a wonderful escape, that's all. Who's with me?

At 9:28 AM, Blogger Wanda Maximoff said...

Gaia, with all the running around we Avenges do, I have no need to use my powers in such a way.

Selene, I'd keep away. Or else one morning you'll wake up, finding yourself depowered.

And I completely agree, Professor. A little alcohol to escape for a little while never hurt a soul.

At 12:00 PM, Anonymous Warren Worthington, III said...

AA meetings are great places to meet chicks.

At 7:08 PM, Blogger Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Here's to alcohol, the cause of and solution to all of life's problems

At 7:32 PM, Blogger Deadpool said...

Can't you just alter it so Iron Man doesn't drink anymore?

At 7:33 PM, Blogger Vegeta said...

Whew When I saw the name Scarlet touch I was afraid Scarlet Spider came back to life and stated blogging Glad it's Scarlet Witch instead.

At 6:58 AM, Blogger Gaia said...

Hey Wanda,
A while back there was a blog created called Heroes United and most of the X-Men were invited. Seeing as you are new, you have not recieved an invatation. If you are interested in joining leave your email address at
and someone will add you.

At 11:36 AM, Blogger Professor Xavier said...

If you'd rather, you can post your e-mail address to one of my older entries and then I'll send you the e-mail invitation and delete your e-mail address.

At 9:06 AM, Blogger * Northstar * said...

Bonjour Wanda. Your first blogging adventure and it's at an AA meeting. My situation seems a lot less dangerous now! Mais, I can't wait to encounter simple daily happenings again, it's been too long. C'est la vie, n'est-ce pas?

At 3:48 PM, Blogger Gaia said...

Tagged you!

At 6:11 AM, Blogger Carol Danvers said...

So true... Alcohol does solve your problems... *sighs* Cheers, Wanda!


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